Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Judges Chapter 5 through Revelation in 5 weeks....?! (Day 1)

Well that's what I am aiming to do.
Why 5 weeks? I'll be at RTC.
Why not from Genesis? Because I've been reading through from cover to cover and got a bit distracted around Joshua.

I decided that blogging about it would make me accountable. Yesterday I read from Judges 5 through 1Samuel 25. I wanted to finish 1 Samuel but I was getting to the point where my eyes were blinking at different times; that only happens when I'm really tired. I must admit I have a little secret: I use the audio Bible and I read along silently. It helps keep me focussed, I don't try to read so fast, thus I take in more.

A Quick Recap
Genesis is a good way to start the whole thing off - The first of lots of things.
Exodus to Deuteronomy - full of deserty adventure, a lot of talking, and giving of instructions. 
Joshua - awesome battles and a super long day.

From Yesterday
Judges: Israel still not getting it! Still turning their backs on God to worship other gods and we'd do exactly the same if it weren't for His grace and mercy.
I do remember the story of the left-handed soldier but I don't remember the details being told in Sunday school. Judges 3:12 - 30 is fantastic and it's loaded with funnies or I just have a warped sense of humour.
Here's my paraphrase:
Israel again did evil in the the sight of the Lord, thus they incurred God's wrath in the form of  Eglon - the nastypasty king of Moab. Eglon took possession of the City of Palms and Israel served him for 18 years. Israel inevitably went all sookylala and cried out to God, who raised up Ehud. I think he was responsible for taking Israel's dough to Eglon. (Now this is where all the lefties get to cheer) Ehud was left handed so he could secret a weapon where no one would look, and not be unco (or accidentally lop his leg off) when trying to brandish the thing. The Bible says Ehud's daggar/sword, self-made of course, was double edged and about 41.72cm in length. The Bible also says that Eglon was a very fat man. Picture this: Ehud goes into the king, says he needs to tell him a secret, and the two are left alone.

Judges 3:20-25 (Holman Christian Standard Bible)
20 Then Ehud approached him while he was sitting alone in his room upstairs [where it was] cool. Ehud said, "I have a word from God for you," and the king stood up from his throne. 21 Ehud reached with his left hand, took the sword from his right thigh, and plunged it into Eglon's belly.22 Even the handle went in after the blade, and Eglon's fat closed in over it, so that Ehud did not withdraw the sword from his belly. And Eglon's insides came out. 23 Ehud escaped by way of the porch, closing and locking the doors of the upstairs room behind him.
24 Ehud was gone when Eglon's servants came in. They looked and found the doors of the upstairs room locked and thought he was relieving himself [c] in the cool room. 25 The servants waited until they became worried and saw that he had still not opened the doors of the upstairs room. So they took the key and opened the doors—and there was their lord lying dead on the floor!

If I had to do a talk, and I knew a heap of teenage boys were attending, I would seriously consider using this passage. It would be fantastic to re-enact! I could say more on those verses but I'm stopping there. Read it for yourself!

If you haven't heard about Jephthah, Judges 11-12:7 tells of him. (I think I cried a bit the first time I read it.)

Going through the rest lickety-split:
Ruth - a must read even for guys.
1 Samuel -  the Lord squishes a few guys (who did evil in the eyes of the Lord) like bugs! Saul and David play a hybrid of chasies, hide and seek, cat and mouse, and duck or I'll spear you. And David totally cramps Saul's style. The girly-stines (philly-stines - Philistines...never mind) also try their hand at the game and sometimes have successes. They manage to pinch the Ark of the Covenant, but Israel gets it back for a bit.  Jonathan and David become best mates, which really sends Saul into a tizz, and David ends up with way too many wives.

Time for me to read some more.


  1. Judges is not my favorite book. Maybe because it shows human depravity at its finest (or rather lowest).

    You may break a Bible reading record at this speed. :)

  2. I think the record is a couple of days of non stop reading. My head would explode if I tried that!

    Yes Judges has funny and good bits, but there is that giant shadow of sinful depravity which I think comes out in each book of the Bible, but not always as formidably obvious.

  3. You are a wild and crazy girl!

  4. I could never read like that. Personally I don't even like reading plans. Hope you are able to keep it up without your head exploding. Not only would that hurt, it would make a mess.

    I envy, hopefully not sinfully, your going to school. I would love to go back to school! Blessings to you!

    Thanks for posting the button!